Recently, a lifelong “friend” has cut-off all contact through phone, blocking me and other family members on Facebook and other social platforms. No explanation. No trying to work or talk things out. Just cut-off. She is a friend I’ve had all my life, we’re the same age. I’ve never done life without her. She is someone who has felt like a “soul sister”. To say I am heartbroken would be what feels like an understatement. I know that I’m not the only one affected by this, the others have been heartsick too. It does seem like I am taking it harder than them, but then I’ve always been one to wear my heart on my sleeve.
I have tried multiple times to talk to her through text and phone calls to get it all figured out. Still, no response. Clearly, she doesn’t want to talk or get things settled.
I’m sharing this experience for two reasons. Firstly, I have no idea what she’s going through. So, it wouldn’t be appropriate or fair to judge. I have no idea what’s going on in her life to make her feel like she has to block us from her life and not communicate her feelings.
Secondly, whatever reason she has doesn’t seem good enough, to me anyway, to close off all communication instead of talking and getting things resolved. So, there’s that part that wants to judge and feel sorry for myself for this pain. In my opinion, I haven’t done anything to deserve the pain and heartache I have felt and feel over this “loss”.
There has been some hearsay of “Why do you care anyway? It’s not like you’ve reached out to her much.”
On that point, it reminds me of an experience my parents had years ago. There were some good friends of theirs that had tried to reach out to my parents, back when, but my parents were dealing with a sick child for a number of years and had other trials going on and unable to reach back.
One day, when things were settled down for my parents, my dad wanted to reconnect with his old friend. But, when my dad knocked on the door, the wife answered and pretty much slammed the door in his face, saying “Well, you haven’t been much of a friend”.
If only… If only this wife had known all my parents had gone through. Maybe then she would’ve had more patience with my parents. But did she stick around to find out the reasons why they weren’t around? Did she ask the important questions to understand and keep the friendship?
This could be a similar situation. I don’t know. I have been “absent” for years. Due to trials in my own family. “Survival mode” is what I call it. I didn’t mean to be absent.
I have been so grateful for certain friends that, even if we don’t talk for years, they’re always there, loving me and accepting me. They’ve taught me unconditional love.
While I know this current situation probably isn’t really about me, or even the other family members affected by this, it still hurts. It makes me want to judge her for the pain she has caused. It has been hard to move on because she has been such a big part of me. And, I love her dearly!
I’m hoping this will be a temporary situation and we can get it resolved sooner than later. In the meantime, I know I need to accept it and adjust accordingly.
Speaking of being absent, I am working on getting back into my writing again.
Thank you for sharing your time with me.
Love, Jenn
Time With Jenn 